Dating someone who is getting over a breakup can be a big challenge. But knowing what to expect and how to handle the situation can make the challenges you face together fade away or disappear altogether. Here are a few obstacles that you may face while dating someone who is getting over a breakup and some tips and methods to overcome the issues.
A Major Challenge
After a breakup, your potential partner may find themselves in a place where they feel as if their whole world has been shattered and there’s no one to take care of them. Many people get so emotionally invested in relationships that they become an integral part of that individual. After spending so much time with someone, relying on them, sharing ideas and thoughts and making important decisions with them, they’re now all alone after the breakup and may find it difficult to handle themselves and cope with the situation. They may feel lost and confused and generally unlike themselves.
The challenge is to deal with someone who has been broken into pieces and make them realise that it isn’t the end of the world. It is a transitional period for them where there might be masses of different emotions running through their head. Perhaps a good tip might be to spend time helping them to try to figure out their place in the world, their personal desires and how they will fill the void in their life. Go slow, try some cute date ideas and surprises, and help them recover from their past.
Overcoming the Challenge
Power of Patience
The seriousness of a previous relationship will affect the way someone starts dating again. For instance someone coming out of a very long, emotionally involved relationship may be reluctant to get emotionally attached to someone new. They will probably need a lot of time to heal and want things to start off slow. But other individuals may not know what they want. One day they may be happy and feel inspired, ready to date again, but another day they may not. You may recieve mixed signals that will make things confusing and difficult to handle. The best advice in this situation is to be patient.
This can cause a lot of daters to give up far too quickly. Some people could take this behaviour personally, or get annoyed and give up. That’s really their problem, not yours and certainly not the fault of the person who’s been left on their own.
But it doesn’t have to be a problem. Not for someone who is patient and recognizes the struggle their potential partner is going through. It’s best to stay calm, give them space and listen. It might not take a lot of time to figure out what he or she really wants. Eventually (hopefully!), they will realize you are Mr or Ms Perfect and they will be ready to start dating again.
Help Them Rebuild
Being patient doesn’t mean you will be constantly waiting for them to make all the decisions, in fact you can help this process to speed up. Think of amazing ideas for dates and bring back that smile on their face. Help them to move on from their previous relationship by finding something they love doing but haven’t been able to do for ages, perhaps their previous partner didn’t approve or didn’t like it. This will help cut ties to the past, helping them to live in the present and think of the future. If he or she previously went hiking or to a bar with their ex, such activities are going to be emotional reminders of the old relationship. The more they keep thinking of the past, the more difficult it will become to pull them out of those thoughts. Instead of digging through their past, help them move towards a bright future.
Perhaps you could utilise your dates to go to places or try activities they have never done before. Show them what they have been missing in life. Shake up their monotonous habits and help them create new ones by surprising them with simple, romantic date ideas, such as a walk in the park or a trip to the zoo with a picnic afterwards . Make their life so awesome that they will feel that this relationship is even better than anything they’ve experienced before.
Express Your Emotions Too
If you are constantly supporting your new partner, you’ll definitely be building a special corner in their heart. But be careful, don’t fall into the category of being a therapist or a friend because once you’re assigned that role, it becomes hard to get out of it. Ensure they are aware of your romantic intentions. Try to work out if you need to lead and take things onto the next level, or if they’d prefer to do this at their own pace. If, even after a while you’re still not sure on this one, don’t get tense. They may not be able to deal with these situations now but you never know how things will turn out tomorrow. Stay calm and composed and continue to show support at every step. They will eventually understand your awesomeness one day and once ready, will most likely say a big-“YES”.